Cranky Old Mainer Of Indeterminate Gender Says Everyone He Ever Knew, Or Met, Including Santa Claus, Was Drunk

Cranky Mainer of indeterminate genderWe waited in line with other parents and kids, and then there I was on the Great Man’s lap. I think he really did say, “Ho ho ho.” Then I was sent to a decorated wall with a big brass slot, and a voice asked, “Boy or girl?” My mother said, “boy,” and a gift slid out. I don’t remember what it was. Even total recallers suffer an occasional lapse. I do remember telling Mom that Santa had “Christmas breath.” That was what my father and uncles had every Christmas Eve. Eau de Southern Comfort. (read more, if you have insomnia, at Kennebec Journal)

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Posted by on Dec 8 2012. Filed under Cranky Old Bastids, featured. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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