Category archives for: Swampdonkeys, Candlepins, And Such

Organic, Sustainable Dairy Farm Is Looking for a Free-Range, Socially-Responsible Lawyer To Handle Their Multi-Stakeholder, Cruelty-Free Bankruptcy

union maine organic dairy farm bankruptcyPORTLAND, Maine — The dairy farmer who bought cows from a Turner farm damaged by fire in 2013 has filed for bankruptcy about a year after moving those cows to 180 acres at the former Union Fair Farm. Harris Hills Organic Dairy and its owner, Caleb Harris, on Thursday filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy, which would sell off business and personal assets to settle a portion of an estimated $352,091 in company debt and $676,716 in personal debt. Harris planned to take over the dairy herd of Caldwell Family Farm in Turner in 2013 and, according to a report at that time, was on his way to Maine at the time of the fire. Harris arranged to sell milk to the New Hampshire-based processor Stonyfield before the fire. Iroquois Valley Farms, an Illinois-based food and farmland company, said in a news release in August that it struck an arrangement in early 2014 with Harris and Stonyfield to move the herd to the Union farm as part of a “new project to directly source milk from the farmers.” ( keep reading at the Bangor Daily News)

Tom Brady Casually Mentions To Roger Goodell That There’s Always the Same Amount of Air in the Goddamned Trophy

tom brady wins fourth super bowlGLENDALE, Ariz. — Quarterback Tom Brady won his fourth ring, tossing four touchdown passes to lead the New England Patriots over the Seattle Seahawks 28-24 in Super Bowl XLIX at University of Phoenix Stadium on Sunday night. The Patriots clinched the game defending their own end zone in the final 30 seconds of the game. The Seahawks got the ball back with 2:02 left and opened with a 31-yard pass down the left sideline from quarterback Russell Wilson to running back Marshawn Lynch. After another first-down conversion on a Wilson pass to Ricardo Lockette, Seahawks wide receiver Jermaine Kearse caught a 33-yard bomb down the right sideline. Going up for the ball with Patriots cornerback Malcolm Butler, Kearse tipped the ball and caught it on a second bobble while on his back at the 6-yard line. The Seahawks ran Lynch on first down to reach the 1-yard line and with 25 seconds left. Wilson then fired a slant to Lockette that Butler intercepted. On his 50th pass attempt of the game, Brady tossed an easy 3-yard score to wide receiver Julian Edelman in front of Seahawks reserve cornerback Tharold Simon, and the Patriots reclaimed the lead, 28-24, with 2:02 left in the game. Brady, who was named the game’s MVP, connected on all eight of his passes on the drive that began when the Patriots forced a three-and-out on a 48-second possession by Seattle. (read more at the Bangor Daily News)

Seattle Seahawks Preparing Both Bizarre Accusations and Crotch-Grabbing Preening So They’ll Be Ready for Any Outcome

seattle seahawksPHOENIX (AP) — A year ago, Pete Carroll stood at a podium in a New York City hotel, less than 12 hours after his Seattle Seahawks beat the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl. He spoke about what would happen next.“The first meeting that we’ll have,” Carroll said, “will be tomorrow.” Sounded a bit over the top, even from the ever-enthusiastic coach. A moment later, he continued the theme, insisting: “We really have an eye on what’s coming, and we don’t dwell on what just happened. We’ll take this in stride.” Turns out he knew what he was talking about. Fast forward to Sunday, when Carroll’s Seahawks will face Bill Belichick’s New England Patriots in the Super Bowl with a chance to do something that, for many reasons, was thought to be too tall a task in today’s NFL: win a second consecutive championship. “It’s tough to win it once. That’s the hard part. Winning twice doesn’t happen (anymore),” said Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, whose team went back-to-back 10 years ago, making for the longest drought without a repeat champion in the nearly half-century of Super Bowls. (read more at the Kennebec Journal)

Maine to Receive Yet Another Foot of Snow. Meteorologists Wonder How This Might Affect New York City

monmouth maine public worksPublic works crews already bleary-eyed after digging out from Tuesday’s blizzard are making the coffee a little stronger as they ramp up for another storm that promises to dump up to a foot of snow on the region. “This is what we do,” Monmouth Public Works Director Bruce Balfour said Thursday. “We take it as it comes.” Meteorologist Mike Kistner, of the National Weather Service in Gray, said the Augusta and Waterville areas should get 6 to 12 inches during a storm that’s expected to begin around daybreak Friday and run through early Saturday. “It will pick up intensity in the early afternoon to mid-afternoon,” Kistner said. “It should be snowing at a pretty good rate.” The storm will lighten around midnight and wind down on Saturday, leaving a few lingering snow showers as it pulls off the coast. The weather service, which has issued a winter storm warning for the entire state, expects temperatures to be in the 20s with wind gusts up to 30 mph and visibility reduced to a quarter-mile or less at times. The temperatures will be warmer than during Tuesday’s storm, which has benefits, Augusta Public Works Director Lesley Jones said. (read more at the Kennebec Journal)

That One, Brief, Glorious Moment When There Were Only Nineteen Feet on the Floor Will Be Remembered by All, Forever

boothbay girls basketballOn a night before a blizzard, it rained three-pointers in Wiscasset. The Boothbay Region High School girls varsity basketball team was able to use the perimeter to their advantage and sunk the Wiscasset High School Wolverines, 70-33 on Monday, Jan. 26. The Seahawks (15-1) netted eight first-half three-pointers, including five by Morgan Crocker, who scored a game-high 27 points, and three from Sara Durgan, who scored 11 points. Despite the lopsided final score, the two teams were competitive throughout, and the first quarter featured two longstanding rivals trading big shots and blows.Boothbay Region was able to strike via the three-pointer early in the first quarter, but Wiscasset’s Kayla Gordon scored six points to cut the lead to 15-8 after one quarter. Alecia Faulkingham (team-high 14 points) found seams in the Seahawk defense to score 10 first-half points and to help Wiscasset remain in the game with a halftime score of 39-20 in favor of Boothbay Region. In the second half the Seahawks were able to muscle Wiscasset to pull out the victory. Gordon finished with 12 points for Wiscasset (4-11), who will travel to Auburn on Friday, Jan. 30 to play St. Dom’s. (read more at the Wiscasset Newspaper)

After Crushing Loss, Indianapolis Colts Present Evidence That the Grass at Gillette Stadium Is Fake

tom bradyNFL investigators met Tuesday with Patriots officials to determine whether footballs used in New England’s 45-7 victory against the Indianapolis Colts in the AFC championship game were not properly inflated, according to a person familiar with the league’s handling of the situation. And while the league indicated it may wrap up its investigation by week’s end, ESPN reported late Tuesday night that 11 of the 12 footballs that were used by the Patriots were under-inflated. An NFL spokesman, Michael Signora, said the league had “no comment at this time” about the report, which stated that the footballs were under-inflated by 2 pounds per square inch. Under NFL rules, game balls must be inflated to between 12.5-13.5 PSI. In-game officials inspect footballs two hours before kickoff and only give the balls to the respective teams 15 minutes before kickoff. Troy Vincent, the NFL’s executive vice president for football operations, told The Associated Press that the league’s “investigation is currently under way and we’re still awaiting findings.” (read more at the Kennebec Journal)

Manager Says Hyatt Is Losing Money Because of Old Port Bar Noise, Not Because It Looks Like a Soviet Prison. It’s Totally Not That

portland maine hyatt hotelPORTLAND — A Portland hotel says its losing business because of noise from bars in the Old Port. The manager of Hyatt Place, Alen Saric, says he’s receiving noise complaints from guests. “It’s coming from the, typically from the speakers put outside, from the doors being left wide open and having the bass blast inside the clubs,” Saric said about the noise. He’s asking for changes to Portland’s sound ordinance. Right now the city allows up to 92 decibels. According to Purdue University, 90 decibels is about the sound of a lawn mower or a nearby motorcycle. “Boston allows 70 decibels during the day,” Saric said. “And from 11 p.m. until 7 a.m. they only allow 50 decibels.” Some local bar owners say the hotel could have prevented any issues with more soundproofing, knowing that this was an entertainment district. (read more at the Bangor Daily News)

Wiscasset Interim Pastor Lauded as Perfect for a Congregation That Just Doesn’t Give a Shit Anymore

wiscasset church pastorWiscasset First Congregational Church’s new interim minister Susan Craig believes mission work can be done anywhere, close to home or far away. For 11 years, she served with an evangelical reform church in Honduras that built a medical clinic and that helped provide people with housing, clean water and nutrition. The New Jersey-raised, longtime pastor is now focused on helping members of the First Congregational look to the church’s future. That’s a key function of the interim post. John Potter retired as minister in November 2014; Craig gave her first service there Jan. 4. Craig comes to the pillared church on the hill after serving as associate conference minister for United Church of Christ’s Maine Conference. Before that she spent about 20 years as a church pastor in Old Greenwich, Connecticut. She welcomed the opportunity to serve in a local church again with the position in Wiscasset. It’s a type of work that she has great affection for, she said. It’s a temp job, but likely a lengthy one. She anticipates serving a year to a year and a half, long enough for the church to determine what it’s looking for in its next minister and find that person. “Interim ministry is very exciting work and very important work, as a church gets ready to take a next step in its history. So I was thrilled to have a chance to do it. (read more at Wiscasset NewsPaper)

Hollywood Casino Revenue Dips When A Guy Pays His Rent Instead

hollywood casinoBANGOR, Maine — Coming out of 2014 with a slight drop in net revenue, Hollywood Casino tried a 10-day experiment in which it kept its doors open around the clock. The test run didn’t yield the results casino officials hoped for, so the gambling facility has returned to its normal 19-hour day. “The biggest takeaway from our 24-hour experiment was that customers in Eastern Maine are content with our existing hours of 8 a.m.-3 a.m. daily at Hollywood Casino,” casino General Manager Jose Flores said in an email earlier this week. “Those who did come during the late-night hours we are not normally open had a great time, but the vast majority of our customers visit during our normal operating hours.” The trial run stretched from the day after Christmas through Jan. 3. Flores declined to say how many patrons the casino saw during those off-hours, or how much the casino brought in between the hours of 3 a.m. and 8 a.m. compared to normal hours of operation. Hollywood Casino’s main competition, Oxford Casino, which is about a two-hour drive south on Interstate 95, has been a 24-hour operation since it opened for business in the summer of 2012. (read more at the Bangor Daily News)

Bill Belichick Asks League for Permission to Stroke an Angora Cat During The Conference Championship Game

bill belichickOne of the more heavily discussed topics in the aftermath of the Patriots’ 35-31 win over the Baltimore Ravens on Saturday was New England’s use of a four offensive linemen formation in which a skill position player lined up on the line of scrimmage and reported himself as ineligible. The tactic — used on a touchdown drive that brought the Patriots to within 28-21 in the third quarter — angered Ravens coach John Harbaugh, who complained that his team wasn’t given enough time to identify the ineligible receivers. He also added that the strategy had never been used before. Asked about the origin of the set of plays during a conference call, Patriots coach Bill Belichick said he pulled the idea from another team in the league.”It’s a play that, it’s a situation that I saw another team use, kind of,” Belichick said. “We talked about it and thought about ways to put some pressure on the defense with that type of, that concept of having more receivers on the field than were actually eligible. To make them ineligible instead of ineligible guys eligible, go the other way around, so we came up with a few ideas.” He added: “The origin of that play was from the NFL. What they did, it sparked some ideas so we did what we did.” Belichick bristled at the notion that the league could look into the matter further and have that type of play officiated differently, as Harbaugh suggested after the game. “Like what?” Belichick said twice when asked how adjustments could be made in that regard. (read more at the Boston Herald)

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