Category archives for: Swampdonkeys, Candlepins, And Such

Tom Brady Petersons The Bears

gronkowskiFOXBOROUGH, Ma. — Vince Wilfork offered a self-endorsement after his New England Patriots hammered the Chicago Bears 51-23 at Gillette Stadium on Sunday. “It’s going to be hard to beat us if we continue to play the way we played today,” the Patriots’ nose tackle said after New England captured a fourth straight victory. “It’s going to be very tough for teams to come to beat us.” Next up: the high-flying Denver Broncos, who bring a 6-1 record to town next Sunday in the latest Tom Brady-Peyton Manning matchup. The Bears have a bye week before traveling to Green Bay. “It will be a great game. It always is,” said Brady, who had another huge game on Sunday as the Patriots moved to 6-2. Brady, making his 100th regular-season start at home, threw five touchdown passes and was near perfect as he improved to 87-13 as a home starter. Brady was 30 of 35 for 354 yards and four of the incompletions were drops. It was the third five-touchdown game of Brady’s career and he holds the club record with a pair of six-TD pass performances. (read more at the Bangor Daily News)

McDonald’s Tries To Woo Customers Back By Instructing Workers To Throw The Food Out The Hole In The Wall Underhand From Now On

mcdonalds workersInside this nondescript warehouse some 30 minutes from McDonald’s suburban Chicago headquarters, uniformed crew members cook burgers, sling fries and hand food to customers. But here, cashiers accept fake money. Workers and customers wear tracking chips to record their movements. And customers mimic going through the drive-thru in plastic chairs, not cars. Welcome to the Innovation Center, where the world’s largest fast-food operator studies, dissects and tweaks current routines as well as proposed ideas that could quicken the operations at some 34,000 McDonald’s restaurants worldwide. The center is far enough from McDonald’s headquarters that it can run on its own, yet close enough for interaction when needed, said Laurie Gilbert, a 22-year McDonald’s veteran who is vice president of restaurant innovation. “There was a very intentional decision made not to have it be right there, so we could create a bit of a different culture, have a safe place to experiment and learn,” Gilbert said. “Make no mistake, it’s McDonald’s through and through, you can feel it. And yet, with our own flavor.”Opened in 2001, the Innovation Center brings together a variety of players, from engineers, researchers and designers to visiting vendors and franchisees, as they work to improve the burger giant’s service. (read more at the Portland Press Herald)

Terry Pegula Gives The NFL One Star On Yelp

terry and kim pegulaORCHARD PARK, New York — Terry and Kim Pegula now own the Buffalo Bills on paper. Tom Brady still owns them on the field. The New England Patriots quarterback passed for 361 yards and four touchdowns Sunday in a 37-22 win over Buffalo at Ralph Wilson Stadium. Brady is now 23-2 in his career against the Bills. “You’ve got to give credit to the whole offense,” Patriots coach Bill Belichick said. “We did a decent job of blocking up front, gave Tom enough time. The receivers made some good plays. Tom made some good reads and some good throws. It took everybody working together out there today. It’s not a one-man band.” Wide receiver Brandon LaFell caught two touchdown passes and Stephen Gostkowski kicked three field goals of more than 40 yards as the Patriots (4-2) claimed sole possession of first place in the AFC East. (read more at the Bangor Daily News)

Boxing Champ Just Glad To Be Fighting People Indoors For A Change

boxing in lewiston maineLEWISTON — Brandon Berry looked at the new belt around his waist. “It feels good,” Berry said. “It feels like it belongs here.” With his unanimous decision win over Eric Palmer at the Androscoggin Bank Colisee on Saturday night, Berry improved his professional boxing record to 8-0 and earned his first title, the Northeast Junior Welterweight title. Berry was the winner of the six-round fight on all three judges’ scorecards: 60-55, 60-54, and 59-55. Berry said a key to the fight was consistently landing his jab. “(Palmer) had his moments of course, but right from the opening bell I got that jab going,” Berry said. “Skeet (Ken “Skeet” Wyman, Berry’s trainer) has preached it for years, and now I’m a firm believer. That jab makes things happen.” (read more at the Kennebec Journal)

Maine Gambling Industry Estimates That Several People Still Have Toll Change And Laundry Quarters They’d Like To Get Their Hands On

maine gamblingBANGOR, Maine — A recent report released by a gambling management and advisory firm about the potential for more Maine casinos has excited state legislators. But the state’s two existing casinos and local governments invested in their success or failure expect to push back, arguing further casino development could stifle or quash the fledgling industry. Last month, New Jersey-based WhiteSand Gaming released a report recommending that Maine could sustain one or two more casinos, depending on the size and location. Members of the Legislature’s Veterans and Legal Affairs Committee, which oversees gaming in the state and commissioned the report, applauded the results. The WhiteSand study suggests that the state’s economy easily could handle one more casino as long as it is in southern Maine, and potentially another smaller casino in either Washington or Aroostook county, close to the Canadian border. (read more at the Bangor Daily News)

Local Hipster Pretty Sure English Majors Invented Agriculture About Twenty Years Ago

common ground fairUNITY, Maine — From low-impact forestry to Scottish Highland cattle to contra dancing, the 38th annual Common Ground Country Fair is a celebration of Maine’s rural and agricultural traditions. Tens of thousands are expected to gather this weekend on 50 lush acres in Unity for the three-day fair that captures the essence of Maine and the bounty of the harvest season. “We strive for community and education while highlighting agriculture,” April Boucher, fair director, said. Run by Maine Organic Farmers and Gardeners Association, the fair unites leaders in agriculture like Ben Falk, author of “The Resilient Farm and Homestead,” with locals like Lisa Fernandes, who runs The Resilience Hub, a permaculture center in Portland. Both are speaking about permaculture, this year’s theme, which focuses on designing ecological landscape systems that work in harmony with nature to restore balance. As more and more people embrace the do-it-yourself lifestyle across Maine and the country, these age-old practices of homesteading and low-energy use are being re-examined for modern times. (read more at Bangor Daily News)

One Goes Round And Round While Getting Nowhere And Making An Incredible Amount Of Noise. The Other One Is A Race Car

governor lepage NASCARRepublican Gov. Paul LePage on Friday hailed a $50,000 public investment in a NASCAR race car as an effective way to brand Maine to a national audience – if only for one race. Democrats quickly blasted the move as a “monumental waste of taxpayer dollars.” The state of Maine is paying for the branding effort with $15,000 from LePage’s contingency account and $35,000 from the state tourism budget, according to Doug Ray, spokesman for the Department of Economic and Community Development. At a news conference in Portland, state officials and local businesses unveiled the Maine-branded race car, which will be driven by 20-year-old Fort Kent native Austin Theriault in a Sept. 20 NASCAR Nationwide Series race in Kentucky. “Maine” is emblazoned beneath an image of mountainscape, trees and moose on the hood of the blue race car. The driver’s side features a lobster and a lighthouse, while the passenger side features a moose, trees, fall foliage and blueberries. On the rear bumper is an image of a red sign that says “Come in. We’re open.” Both sides feature the “Open for Business” slogan LePage placed on signs near the Maine-New Hampshire border. (read more at the Kennebec Journal)

Local Field Hockey Player Tells Her Coach That Shhe Wooodha Scllooored Blut Mikaylerrrr Wnnndddt Pssss

maine field hockeyTURNER — Her shots may not have broken a pane of glass, but neither Leavitt sophomore Allie Belaire, nor coach Wanda ward-McLean cared. “None of her shots were hard shots,” Ward-McLean said. “She just stayed low and was in a good position.” Three of Belaire’s tips and touches beat Maranacook keeper Autumn Munn in the second half and Sadie Royer added another goal in the first half as the host Leavitt Hornets topped the Black Bears 4-0 Thursday in a persistent biting mist. “This gives us some confidence,” Ward-McLean said. “We didn’t have a lot of returning players. We’ve had a couple games in a row now where we’ve scored a few goals, and it has the girls thinking, ‘We can score, we can hold the other team.’ It’s important for us now.” The Hornets lifted their record to 2-1, and have scored 13 goals in two games since a season-opening 4-1 loss against Mt. View. “It was good to poke a few more in there,” Ward-McLean said. “On a day like today, one slip and it’s a tie game. It was nice to get that second and third goal at least.” (read more at the Lewiston Sun Journal)

Coroner Pissed There’s No Box For ‘Trampled By Elephants In Maine’ On The Form

hope elephantsHOPE — A former veterinarian who turned a small farm in midcoast Maine into a sanctuary for two retired circus elephants was killed Tuesday morning when one of the animals apparently stepped on him after he fell in their enclosure. James Laurita, co-founder of Hope Elephants, was found dead inside a corral shortly after he went in to feed the two elephants, Rosie and Opal, around 7 a.m. Knox County Chief Deputy Sheriff Tim Carroll believes Laurita fell into the corral and hit his head on concrete. An autopsy conducted later Tuesday by the state medical examiner concluded that Laurita, 56, died from asphyxiation and multiple fractures resulting from compression of the chest, presumably because one of the giant mammals stepped on him. It was not immediately clear Tuesday what would become of the Hope Elephants organization or the animals themselves in the wake of Laurita’s death. The federal Occupational Safety and Health Administration has been called in to investigate, police said. A man who was keeping media away from the facility Tuesday said there is another elephant handler on staff and that an emergency plan is in place to take care of the elephants. The sheriff’s department is still investigating, but has ruled Laurita’s death an accident – one that rocked this rural town in the Camden Hills area of Knox County. (read more at the Portland Press Herald)

Wes Welker Says The Drugs Must Have Belonged To Ty Law’s Cousin

wes welkerENGLEWOOD, Colo. — The Denver Broncos will be without Wes Welker for the first four games of the season, after the NFL said the receiver violated the league’s performance-enhancing drug policy. Normally, the league announces such violations on Mondays. News of Welker’s ban didn’t come down until late Tuesday, after the league offices had closed and the Broncos had already finished drawing up blueprints for their opener against Indianapolis, undoubtedly with Welker playing a prominent role. ESPN first reported Welker’s suspension, saying the violation had to do with amphetamines. Welker told the Denver Post in an email that he was “as shocked as everyone at today’s news.” He noted he’s meticulous about what he puts in his body and would “never knowingly take a substance to gain a competitive advantage in any way.” The 11th-year pro who’s been the NFL’s top slot receiver over the last decade added that he never concerned himself with the league’s drug rules but now realizes those policies “are clearly flawed.” (read more at the Portland Press Herald)

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