Queer Doins Phillips Maine fire department

Phillips Fire Department’s ‘Save The Basement’ Strategy Works Like A Charm »

PHILLIPS — A fire that destroyed a garage and spread to a house about 10 feet away on Tuesday caused an estimated $90,000 in damage, Phillips fire Chief Jim Gould…

Sep 28 2014 / No Comment / Read More »
Scots_reject_independence

43 Percent Of Scots Say They Were Too Drunk To Know What They Voted For, And Say Feck Ye Fer Askin’, Ye Bampot »

Scottish voters have resoundingly rejected independence, deciding to remain part of the United Kingdom after a historic referendum that shook the country to its core. The decision prevented a rupture…

Sep 22 2014 / Comments Off / Read More »
common ground fair

Local Hipster Pretty Sure English Majors Invented Agriculture About Twenty Years Ago »

UNITY, Maine — From low-impact forestry to Scottish Highland cattle to contra dancing, the 38th annual Common Ground Country Fair is a celebration of Maine’s rural and agricultural traditions. Tens…

Sep 21 2014 / Comments Off / Read More »
burlesque costume

Damariscotta Adult Entertainment Is… Is… I Think I Just Threw Up In My Mouth A Little »

The Damariscotta Board of Selectmen unanimously approved a draft adult entertainment moratorium ordinance Wednesday, Sept. 3 and scheduled a townwide vote for Wednesday, Sept. 17. The ordinance would temporarily prohibit…

Sep 17 2014 / Comments Off / Read More »
governor lepage NASCAR

One Goes Round And Round While Getting Nowhere And Making An Incredible Amount Of Noise. The Other One Is A Race Car »

Republican Gov. Paul LePage on Friday hailed a $50,000 public investment in a NASCAR race car as an effective way to brand Maine to a national audience – if only…

Sep 15 2014 / Comments Off / Read More »
bethel theremin player

Local Theremin Player Has Reasonable Backstage Demands »

A musical instrument that can be played without being touched made its debut recently at the gazebo on the Bethel Common. The instrument, owned by Conni St. Pierre of Bethel,…

Sep 14 2014 / Comments Off / Read More »
Purty Near News

To Avoid EEE, Mainers Advised To Avoid Maine »

mosquitos

AUGUSTA – Maine Center for Disease Control and Prevention has confirmed the presence of Eastern Equine Encephalitis (EEE) in three…

Sep 7 2014 / Comments Off / Read More »

Governor Announces Welfare Drug Testing To Ensure Everyone’s Getting Their USRDA Of Methadone, Xanax, And Oxys »

Bums sleeping in park. Maine news from The Rumford Meteor

AUGUSTA – Governor Paul R. LePage announced Wednesday the State of Maine is moving forward with its plan to conduct…

Aug 7 2014 / Comments Off / Read More »

Governor Announces Maine Has Enough Bacon And Beans To Last Until February, Easy »

Maine State Capitol dome. Maine news from The Rumford Meteor

AUGUSTA – Governor Paul R. LePage announced Wednesday that the state ended the fiscal year with a surplus, which brings…

Jul 31 2014 / Comments Off / Read More »

Fort Kent And One Of Jupiter’s Moons Certified Business-Friendly, To Similar Effect »

Potatoes in Maine. Maine news from The Rumford Meteor

AUGUSTA – Governor Paul R. LePage and the Maine Department of Economic and Community Development (DECD) have approved the Town…

Jun 24 2014 / Comments Off / Read More »

Governor Swears In, At, And Within Earshot Of Seven New Judges »

Maine State Capitol dome. Maine news from The Rumford Meteor

AUGUSTA – In a robing ceremony conducted at the Kennebec County Superior Courthouse this afternoon, Governor Paul R. LePage administered…

May 7 2014 / Comments Off / Read More »

Pre-K Financial Literacy Workshop Expected To Focus Heavily On Going Short On Tooth Fairy Futures »

Is our childs lerning approach tried at Maine schools

Governor Paul R. LePage and a coalition of government, nonprofit and corporate leaders are announcing the 5th Annual “Fostering Financial…

Apr 20 2014 / Comments Off / Read More »
Chasing A Ball Of Some Sort maine field hockey

Local Field Hockey Player Tells Her Coach That Shhe Wooodha Scllooored Blut Mikaylerrrr Wnnndddt Pssss

TURNER — Her shots may not have broken a pane of glass, but neither Leavitt sophomore Allie Belaire, nor coach Wanda ward-McLean cared. “None of her shots were hard shots,” Ward-McLean said. “She just stayed low…

Sep 12 2014 / Read More »
Business fairpoint union negotiators maine

Union Negotiators Announce That All The Donuts Are Gone Already

PORTLAND, Maine — Union negotiators with the ability to call a strike of about 2,000 New England employees of FairPoint Communications are mulling their next step after being forced to work under contract conditions they don’t…

Aug 30 2014 / Read More »
Rumfid Rumford Maine downtown rush hour

Auditor Says Rumford Looks Good If You Don’t Look At It

RUMFORD — Selectmen learned Thursday night from town auditor Ron Smith that Rumford is doing well financially. Smith said Rumford uses about $1.2 million in tax revenue in the budget, but only needs about $150,000 of…

Jun 21 2014 / Read More »
Swampdonkeys, Candlepins, And Such common ground fair

Local Hipster Pretty Sure English Majors Invented Agriculture About Twenty Years Ago

UNITY, Maine — From low-impact forestry to Scottish Highland cattle to contra dancing, the 38th annual Common Ground Country Fair is a celebration of Maine’s rural and agricultural traditions. Tens of thousands are expected to gather…

Sep 21 2014 / Read More »
Cranky Old Bastids Cranky Mainer of indeterminate gender

Cranky Old Maine Humorist Of Indeterminate Gender Having Trouble Picking One Topic Not To Be Funny About

She who believes in spiritual, semi-mystical magic is out in the yard digging a hole. We’ll get to that later. Right now I’m thinking that the cartoon guy with the sign that says “The end of…

Aug 31 2014 / Read More »
Save The Basement Phillips Maine fire department

Phillips Fire Department’s ‘Save The Basement’ Strategy Works Like A Charm

PHILLIPS — A fire that destroyed a garage and spread to a house about 10 feet away on Tuesday caused an estimated $90,000 in damage, Phillips fire Chief Jim Gould said. Homeowner Paul Wilcox had been…

Sep 28 2014 / Read More »
Maine Attractions hope elephants

Coroner Pissed There’s No Box For ‘Trampled By Elephants In Maine’ On The Form

HOPE — A former veterinarian who turned a small farm in midcoast Maine into a sanctuary for two retired circus elephants was killed Tuesday morning when one of the animals apparently stepped on him after he…

Sep 10 2014 / Read More »
Ahts bethel theremin player

Local Theremin Player Has Reasonable Backstage Demands

A musical instrument that can be played without being touched made its debut recently at the gazebo on the Bethel Common. The instrument, owned by Conni St. Pierre of Bethel, is called a theremin. It is…

Sep 14 2014 / Read More »

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